UNTOLD FEELINGS
by: simplyfascinated
Things happen because it was intended to happen and sometimes we’re the reason why it happens or maybe it just happened with just blink of an eye.
Like the feeling that I have for you, I didn't mean it to happen! I didn’t know that it will grow that fast.
I thought it was just idolizing you like those other people that I've idolized before but this was different…far far different.
This simple crush that I have for you turn to love and I know that it is impossible for you to love me back! And when I think about it, it just broke my heart into pieces.
I think about the days seeing you
Days that make me smile and give me heartbeats like there’s a race inside my heart.
Your sweet charming smile and your expressive eyes
It was tattooed on my mind and there’s no way for it to be erase, even if there’s a way I won’t let it! It was my happiness! thinking your sweet charming smile with those expressive eyes that you have.
I feel so nervous and uptight when you’re around
Whenever I’m beside you, I feel like there’s a thousand voltage of electricity inside my body.
And when we are closer to each other I get conscious with my action, I don’t want to make any mistake. All I want is to make it PERFECT!
But I am scared when you know the truth
Yeah! I am really scared 'coz I don’t want to take the consequences. What if you knew about my feelings? Are you gonna stay the same? or maybe not.
I’m so tired to pretend,
I always end up pretending that I only like you as neither a friend nor a brother. But we all know that everybody have their limitations, everybody gets tired, everybody need to let go of something. I’m tired! I’m tired of pretending and I know that I already meet my limitation but I won’t let go! Not now!...
Because I’m madly in love with you
Yes, I surely do! I've experienced being in love long time ago but this time it was different coz’ this is the first time that I’ve done stupid things just to see you or just to be close to you. I am starting to believe in the saying “you’ll do crazy things in the name of love” because that is what I’m doing right now.
But you have no clue at all
I’ve told you, I’m a great pretender. I act normal in front of you and hide my true feelings for you but until when? Can you tell me when will you notice my presence? My feelings?
I’ve tried so hard to forget you,
I’ve focused on other things just to let you out of my mind. I’ve entertain myself with many things, like studies but I didn’t succeed. You’re always getting into my mind every time my mind is empty. You’re there to fill it!
I thought I will never cry
I was wrong! You always make me cry. I always cry but you don’t have any idea about it. I always cry, even though there’s no tears falling in my eyes but my heart always cry for the love that I am seeking from you…
I wish I never met you
If I can only go back and change everything about you and me, I’ll do it! I will make a way for me not meeting you or have any connections with you so that I won’t end up hurting like now. I wished that I've never met you but what can I do it already happen and it gives me happiness aside from pain.
I've tried so hard to fight this urge of wanting you…
God knows everything that I've done for me to forget my feelings for you. But I fail, yes I FAILED! Because every time there’s a gap between us I make a step to lessen that gap and to be stick with you again. I know I need to fight this urge because I don’t want to ruin the beautiful relationship we have…OUR FRIENDSHIP! But how can I? If I always feel that I’m safe with you and you treat me the way I like to.
Why did I let myself believe?
I let myself believe that there will be a chance for us! A chance that I’m yearning for, that will fulfill my happiness, a chance that will lead my life into wondrous things. Why did I let myself believe that there will be ME AND YOU someday?!
That I don’t really care…
I don’t have any idea what will you gonna do if you found out about this, but I DON’T CARE. You've cause all of this, why did you let me fall for you?! Why didn't you stop me falling for you?! You should have given me cautions for me to be able not to fall to someone like you! I hate you because you let me fall for you but I don’t really care…I DON’T REALLY CARE because I really love you…I DO!
I guess it’s better to leave my feelings unspoken
Leaving my feelings unspoken is quit hard but if it will be the only way for you to not trash our friendship I’ll do it! I know that it is not that easy but don’t worry I can make it! Little by little I’ll forget the feelings that I have for you. But please! Can I excuse myself forgetting the feelings that I have for you now? I won’t spill it out, just let me! I’m a great pretender, I’ll manage my feelings whenever you’re around, I’ll act normal like nothing is wrong with me…cause it felt so right with you around.
I’ll try to hide it all
There’s no wrong in trying. I will hide it, I’ll treat you like my brother like I used to, a friend that I can rely on. I will hide all the feelings that I have for you until you fall for me and be the first one to confess. I’ll hide all of these things just to stay by your side and you stay by my side, it may not be forever but at least it will take long enough for you to realize what I am really to you.
I must face it…
Face the fact that it will never gonna happen. Falling in love with a person, that only treat you as your sister, it won’t gonna happen. I am only fooling myself if I let myself believe that you’re gonna fall for me too. I think I am fool from the very start, cause I let it happen, I let myself fall for you and let myself believe that you’re gonna love me back! I must face it! I must face that there’s NO me and you from the very start it NEVET EXIST and IT WILL NEVER BE.
That you’re only a dream
Dream that I always want to recall. Dream that let me feel these things. Dream that made me do crazy things. Dream that made cry not only in outside but also inside and I am much affected inside. Dream that gives me headache and heartache but the BEST thing this dream gave me was the HAPPINESS that I felt right now, happiness that you brought and made my life more colorful.
I wish that I can tell these things to you. I wish I can open up my feelings to you. I wish you’ll accept it! Wishes that were only happen once in a blue moon. But I’ve decided I’ll hide it! Hide it from you. I won’t bother you with my UNTOLD FEELINGS.
1:24am
02/25/12
